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1. Bad Girl Once (Soccer Mom Now)
DH-acoustic and electric guitars, background vocals; Carl Sealove-bass; Nick Vincent-drums; Patterson Barrett-pedal steel and mandolin
I almost got raped in San Bernadino, was wanted in New Orleans
Went all the way with a jerk in New Jersey,
I still taste his tongue in my dreams
These are secrets that when coming to the surface one should disavow
I was a bad girl once – I’m a soccer Mom now
Stole some stuff from a church in Indiana on a Kerouac/Cassidy fling
Spent the night on a bathroom floor in Venice, tequila-induced vomiting
And there are sexual details I can’t reveal
my mother’d have a cow
I was a bad girl once – I’m a soccer Mom now
I wasn’t a junkie, I wasn’t a whore
There were a couple of things I missed
But if you see me slammin’ the Volvo door
Drive up in your convertible, I’m still subvertable and
Blow me a kiss, ya-ya
Spent 2 days and 2 nights in a house somebody took me 2
Smokin’ opium laced with cocaine
These strangers we became soul brothers and sister
Now I don’t even remember their names
It’s a wonder that I made it here and all I can say is somehow
I was a bad girl once – I’m as good as gold now
I was a bad girl once – gracefully gettin’ old now
I was a bad girl, bad girl once – I can still be bold,
Though I’m a proper soccer Mom now
2. True
DH-acoustic guitar, background vocals; Patterson Barrett-piano, lap steel; Tim Godwin-el. guitar; Nick Vincent-drums; Kevin O’Neal-bass
Yes I was drowning
But I didn’t know it
Well maybe I knew it
But I wouldn’t say it
And if I said it
I never would remember
Cause if I remembered
It hurt like hell
Chorus:
I sat on the space shuttle
I petted Shamu
But I was living another man’s life
And nothing in the world rang true
Yes I was dying
No one could revive me
They’d try to revive me
I’d tell them to go away
And when they went away
I never would regret it
Cause if I’d regret it
It hurt like hell
Chorus
You came and rescued me
Uncaged and set me free
I’ve lived a hundred lives
But this is the best one – mine
3. Hard Times Come Again No More
Stephen Foster (arr. by D. Holland)
Additional outro background vocals-DH
4. The Theory of Relativity (It’s All Relative)
Eric Heilner-piano; Kevin O’Neal-bass; Frank Rico-horn arrangement, trumpet; James Ford-trumpet;
Phil Jordan-trumpet; Jeff Benedict-alto and tenor sax; Geena Biondi-baritone sax; Jacques Voyemant-
trombone; Patterson Barrett-lap steel
Thanks to Chris Guardino and students in MUS 547A (Spring 05) at Cal State Los Angeles.
Thanks to Juan Vega for “greasing” the gettin’ in.
I’m a poor girl by Bill Gates standards
I’m a rich bitch through a homeless person’s eyes
Is it all smoke and mirrors, is the truth disguised
It’s all relative, relative
I am no one in comparison to J.Lo
I am world renowned and famous standing next to maybe you
But by the time your fingers snap, things could change like that
It’s all relative, relative
Your mother’s famous cousin is your cousin once removed
Your father’s sister’s daughter’s son well he’s your cousin too
Oh it’s all relative, hmmm relative
There are people and they might have talent
They’ve got relatives who can grease the gettin’ in
While the rest of us jerks have to slave and work
We need relatives, relatives
Well Einstein had a theory, well I’ve got my theory too
Your great Aunt Peggy died last year and left
practically nothing to you
She left practically nothing
Oh it’s all relative, hmm relative
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s all relative
5. My First Born
Ross Levinson-violins, violin programming and whistling; Kevin O’Neal-bass
My first born
We lock horns from time to time
Maybe it’s because we’re the same Leo sign
Well there’s no mistaking you’re half mine
And, by the way, you have to take out the garbage
My pre-teen
I’m the meanest Mom alive
You can have the last laugh you’ll turn 25
Announce you’re becoming a Rabbi
But you can’t watch another episode of the Simpsons
I know you’re sick of “do this,” “don’t do that”
And honestly I can’t blame you
Well if you’ll grow up to be a Democrat
I’ll give you an extra hour of computer game time
My first born
I adore the kid you are
And if you ever doubt it just
Play this song
There are times when you’re right and I’m dead wrong
But I’ll only admit it
In Antonio Carlos Jobim-influenced music
6. Song About Sex
DH-acoustic guitar; Abby Travis-bass; Nick Vincent-drums; Patterson Barrett-piano, lap steel;
2005 Summer Arts Master Class in Songwriting-
background vocals (engineered by Vincent Keenan); Bonnie Hayes-additional background vocals
This is a song about sex
This is a song that I need in my set
This is the song that can bring me success
This is a song about sex
Yes, this is a song about sex
(Big body parts)
Sex is a sure-fire sell
Guaranteed money that’s unparalleled
Violence comes near it but not quite as well
Sex is a sure-fire sell
Hell, sex is a sure-fire sell
(Give it to me now)
BRIDGE:
S-E-X is a sexy word
Can make you act real stupid
Not bow and arrow, but the human urge
Drives our young cupid
(Sex, sex, sex)
This is a song about love
Which means it’s a song about, song about sex
Thinly disguised for the prepubescent
Really a song about sex, next.
Really a song about sex
(Insert your favorite fantasy)
BRIDGE:
This is the song that I wrote about sex
It’s not one of Prince’s, it’s not one of Beck’s
Making a fool of myself what the hecks
This is a song about sex, yex
This is a song about sex
(Sex, sex, sex)
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7. Waiting for the Fire
DH-background vocals; Carl Sealove-bass; Frankie Blue-guitars; Noel Melanio-chromatic harmonica
I need some tenderness
More than a quick caress
I want the very best of you
Don’t push me back again
Let the excuses end
Half-hearted kisses will not do
Chorus:
Just tell it to me straight my dear
Are all my wishes in vain
Or is it just a temporary phase
Your messages are so unclear
I’m standing out in the rain
Waiting for a sign, waiting for the fire to reflame
It seems like yesterday
You would beg me to stay
You couldn’t bear to see me go
Closer than skin to skin
Our souls exchanged within
Now you’re someone I barely know
Chorus
I cannot hold out too much longer
I’m backin’ up but soon I’ll back away
If this is truly your desire
Spare us the pain
Save us the time
Give me my pride
Chorus
8. Chain Stores, Malls and Restaurants
DH-acoustic and electric guitar; Abby Travis-bass;
Background vocals-Radiant Voices directed by Kevin O’Neal featuring Wanda Elaine, Nicole B. White, Bili Redd, Karen Evans, Mashariki, and Kevin O’Neal (thanks Kevin for your continual support)
It was the hottest day that anyone remembered
The air could make you choke
We gathered 'round our single air conditioner
But it broke
So we headed out to search for better weather
Watchin' the temperature gauge in the car
To escape the heat you barely have to travel
Far, to
Chorus:
Chain Stores, Malls, and Restaurants
Chain Stores, Malls, and Restaurants
Chain Stores, Malls, and Restaurants
I took off to the desert for vacation
Serenity has no cost
And though I followed the directions to Heavenly Oasis
I got lost, it was all
Chorus
I took my son out driving in the country
To see the seasons change
He said, "Mommy I don't like it, it's too quiet
And strange, there's no"
Chorus
Since we're permeating every other country
I have no doubt
Soon you'll have to search to find a village standing
Without
Chorus
9. The Violin
DH-electric guitars, background vocals; Abby Travis-bass; Ross Levinson-violins and electric violin solo
Mommy, I don’t wanna practice violin
Mommy I hate it and I want to quit
At best the lessons are a bore
I dread the moment she walks through the door
You think that if I give up I’ll regret it when I’m older but I won’t
Mommy, I don’t wanna play that violin
Mommy, watch me throw it at the wall and (only kidding)
The orchestra is fine for some
The truth is I’m not having fun
You say that I will thank you when you’re gone but if you’re dead how will you know?
I’ll eat my broccoli and never misbehave
Isn’t that a good trade?
Think of the money you’ll save
Mommy, please
Mommy, I don’t even like the violin
Mommy, I’d rather play the bass guitar or drums
So add this to your mounting list
Of things to talk about with your therapist
I’m sure she’ll say we’re better off without this
albatross around our necks
Jascha Heifitz, Itzahk Perlman, Isaac Stern, is that what you expect?
Mommy, I don’t wanna practice violin
Mommy, I don’t wanna play the violin
Mommy, are you listening
Chorus
10. Sloop John B
Traditional (arr. by D. Holland)
Patterson Barrett-acoustic guitar, piano; Nik Frost and DH-background vocals; Kevin O’Neal-bass
11. On My Way
DH-acoustic guitar; Patterson Barrett-mandolin, accordion, dobro; Carl Sealove-bass; Wendy Waldman-background vocalist
They were standing by the side of the road
I could tell what was happening at a glance
From the look on her face as he spoke
He was doin' the getaway dance, the getaway dance
I meant to get out of my car
Tell her someday she’ll laugh looking back
But it might slow me down if she put up her guard
And I haven’t got time for that, time for that cause
Chorus:
I'm on my way, though I don't know where I'm going
As soon as I get there I will call
I'm on my way, but there is no way of knowing
If I can get anywhere at all
Anywhere at all
The telephone rings in my head
Is somebody sending good will?
No, it's trucks in the distance instead
The screechin' of brakes in the hills, of brakes in the hills
The needy, the sick, and the poor
Are waitin' for Jesus and me
They're forming a line headed right to my door
But Jesus is busy til 3, he's busy til 3
It's all up to me, so
Chorus
The road to hell as we all know
Is paved with good intentions
You can't arrive unless you go
Did I mention
Chorus
12. Last Year (Life is Grand)
DH-piano and background vocals; Carl Sealove-bass; John Wood-guitar and lap steel; Rick Krizman-organ
Last year was a very bad year
Everything that possibly could go wrong did
But now I’m on the other side yeah
Counting up my blessings like a rich man’s kid
Yes, I went from life is gray to life is just ok (to)
Chorus:
Life is grand
Life is grand
In every single way
Life is grand
Life is grand
Let’s celebrate today cause life is grand
Last year was a nightmare of a year
Everything had turned into a twisted mess
But now I’m on a different ride yeah
Dancing in a brightly colored mini dress
Yes, I went from life is sad to life is not so bad to
Chorus
And if the world is going to hell in a hand basket
I’ll be going there with love all around me
When my body’s starting to rot in an oak casket
My soul will be satisfied, gratified, and free
Chorus
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